Finally!

This is only semi-lucid and unedited because I am still exhausted and floating on cloud nine from this past weekend.  Having said that, I’ve met someone!  He’s incredible, though he has no clue just how amazing he is, and I’m falling.  My boifriend (insert ridiculous girly giggle here) is incredibly handsome and drop dead sexy and smart, funny and just amazing to be around.  Oh, and did I mention he’s a Daddy?  I haven’t written anything in a while because I’ve been so wrapped up in the newness but he deserves to be part of this, because, after all, the whole purpose of this blog is to have an open forum for my relationships and experiences.  And while it’s new, he’s definitely a long term fixture in my life.

The sex is amazing, the Daddy/babygirl dynamic is exactly what I need and want, but other than that it’s so much more.  He opens my car door for me, he orders for me at restaurants, and while some girls might be offended by that, I think it’s chivalrous and it’s something I’ve never really had before.  I’m swooning, and on cloud nine, and also terrified of my feelings, but I’m so ready to dive in head first, literally. (That’s all for you Daddy)

What is so hard about…

I’m queer.  That’s that.  There was a time that I was interested in biological men, that time is no more.  And I’m not making any sort of assumptions or huge life long statements about never being able to look at a man’s biological penis again.  That’s just silly, and I have learned that I’m constantly growing and changing, to a degree.  But what I can firmly say is that a het man is not what I’m remotely interested in.  I’ve made it as clear as I possibly can lately, and yet it seems to be perceived as a challenge.  “I’ll be the one to cure her of the evil dyke disease!”  Well, I’ve had that evil dyke disease as long as I can remember, and quite frankly, I’d rather not be cured.  I enjoy that evil dyke disease.  I embrace it.  I’m a femme queer who revels in her attraction to other biological women, particularly those who are butch.

And I must address the misconception that because I’m primarily attracted to bois that I’m somehow trying to have a man without having a man.  I don’t want a biological man.  I want a boi.  It’s a dymanic I don’t feel I can rightly explain, which may sound stupid as I’m currently writing a blog about my attraction to bois, but it’s not a half-assed replacement for a man, it’s entirely different and much more fulfilling to me as a person.  And while I like to express my feelings on the subject of my sexuality I don’t feel the need to explain it.  I am who I am.  There are tons of labels I could use, but none of them fit me entirely and I’d much rather just be me.

I accept people of all walks of life, all sexualities, all lifestyles, and all I ask is for the same courtesy.  What’s so hard to understand about my sexuality?

Daddy

The following post is a piece of original erotica, written and edited by yours truly, which contains sex, BDSM and Daddy/babygirl play.  You have been warned.

I feel rope.  Rope and summer heat.  Rope and Daddy’s hand smoothing over my ass, teasing me.  He’s going to spank me, I know this much, but I’m so unsure when, how hard, where.  He knows it, I can almost feel him grinning behind me.  I pull on my wrists, but they don’t move, I’m tied, face down, on this bench and I’m almost ashamed at how wet he has me, before he’s even really touched me.  I feel his hand dip between my legs, ghosting over my wet pussy and he laughs a little, so softly I’m not sure it really happened.  I turn my head, just slightly, and smile back at him.

“Will you hurt me Daddy?  Will you hurt me and then fuck me?”  He growls and grabs a handful of my ass, hard, pulling the flesh, and a low moan rips from my mouth.

“I’ll do whatever I want with you, baby girl.  And you’ll love every minute of it, won’t you?”  I whimper, splutter out a yes Daddy.  He knows my thighs are trembling before he looks.  Suddenly I feel his hand pull away half a second before it lands on that sweet spot, just where my ass meets my thigh.  The spot that makes me cringe and moan.  He starts to warm me up, little slaps mixed with hard grabs, and then we move into the hard spanks.  The kind that make me warble and sing.  It’s almost embarrassing how responsive he makes me.  He’s spanking my ass, and every once in a while, just because he can, he slaps my cunt.  And it makes me cry out, throw my head back and tease him with my hair.  He grabs a handful with his left hand and pulls while holding my head down.  He’s so much strength,  it makes me want be on my knees for him.  He knows I like feeling his body on mine, and he leans over me, pressing me into the bench, holding me down even though I can’t move because of the ropes.  He leans into my ear, breath tickling my neck.

“How we doing, baby girl?”  He licks the shell of my ear and I grind into the bench.  I’m aching and needy, wet and incoherent and I just want his cock in my mouth, my cunt, my ass, somewhere.  I also don’t want this sweet torture to end.  I want everything at once, it’s completely overwhelming.  It’s exactly where I knew he’d take me.

“I’m so good Daddy, so green.”  I get a quick good girl before he’s off of me and back to my ass, kneading and tugging, moving closer and closer to where I want his fingers, his cock, and he’s teasing me.  He knows how desperate he has me.  All I can think is please, Daddy, please, Daddy, please, Daddy.  I guess I must have let that slip because he stands back, and I groan as I feel the cool air hit my skin.  I’m covered in a thin layer of sweat and all he’s done is spank me.  I wiggle a bit, test my tethers and find myself just as immobile as I was when he started.  I realize, with a grin, that I’m somewhere about four feet off the floor, hovering above the room and I couldn’t be happier.  I’m brought back to reality as his voice suddenly appears in my ear.

“I’ll be right back, don’t even try to move little girl.”  I nod my head and close my eyes.  I know he’s gone to get his cock on, and I’m salivating at the thought.  He comes back, I hear him enter the room and my eyes snap to where he’s walking towards me, big, heavy cock hanging from his harness and I gasp.  My pussy clenches at the thought that he’s going to put his hard cock inside me, somewhere.  I look up as he walks towards my face and I grin; begin to salivate.  He’s going to fuck my mouth.  He’s going to use my throat.  He’s going to make me swallow that huge cock to the base, choke, gag, slobber all over myself, and he’s going to enjoy every second of it.  I am too.  I love the feel of his cock sliding in and out of my mouth, my tongue running around it, sucking just the head so hard, then slowly sliding it further in my mouth, inch by inch.  He stands in front of me, sees me visibly swallowing, wetting my lips with my tongue and looking up at him, pleading.  He was mildly playful before, but now he’s raw power.  He grabs my chin, strokes my cheek, silently telling me to open my mouth and grips his cock in his other hand, slowly guiding it into my mouth.  I close my lips around it, swirling my tongue over the head and moaning, sending vibrations through it that I know he can feel.  He sucks in a breath, watches me take him in, bit by bit.  Sees the pleasure in my eyes as I worship his cock, feeling him grip my face harder, urging me to take more.  I start to bob my head as best I can before he gets frustrated and moves to untie me, hasty and needy.  I love that I put that lust in him, that I make him want to throw me down and take whatever he wants from me.  He’s got me so worked up, but I’ve managed to do the same to him.  He’s just got one ounce of self-control more than I do.

Once I’m untied he helps me off the bench, quickly, roughly, but not dangerously, always a caring Daddy and helps me to my knees.  I spread my thighs and look up at Him, open my mouth and stick my tongue out flat, begging so pretty for him to let me taste him again.  And it’s him I taste, it’s not a toy, it’s my Daddy.  I don’t feel silicone, I feel him, feel what I do to him, how I turn him on, make him so fucking hard.  He slaps his cock against my tongue once, twice, three times and I know he’s testing my self control.  I want to lunge forward, grab his hips and impale my wet mouth with him, but I wait, look up at him, wide eyed, tongue out, on my knees and wait.  He smirks and gives my face a slap that’s just hard enough to make me moan before he grabs my hair and shoves his cock into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat, making me splutter before I regain control of my reflexes.   I start to feel myself adjust to how big he feels in my mouth, he has to be at least eight inches long, probably longer, and so big around, I can’t touch my fingers together.  I take in more, reaching up to grip his hips as I suck harder, faster, more urgently.  I’m moaning now, all over his cock as it reaches my throat and I let it hit the back a few times before I pull back, swallow a bit and take it all down.  When it goes as far as it can without my help I swallow it, choke on it, take it to the base.  I pull up, spluttering, thick spit from the back of my throat connecting his tip to my lips, a smile on my face as I struggle to catch my breath.

“Fuck baby girl, you’re so good at that.  You’re such a good little cock sucker.”  I smile, take him in my mouth again and swallow around him, holding my head down until I feel the gag threaten me, and then I pull back, gasping.

“Thank you, Daddy.”

And so it begins…

In my search to define myself, or perhaps accept myself as a person, I have learned many things.  I’ve sought, and found support from many people in many walks of life.  However, I have found very little information on being tied to the gender bending community without actually gender bending.  And that may be because those of us attracted to gender benders of all types don’t really face the same struggles as those who actually live their lives in a state of “other” gender.  And forgive my terminology, as I bounce back and forth between queer, kinky and vanilla communities, I mean no disrespect.

The whole purpose of this blog is to give perspective.   My perspective.  Specifically my perspective, writings, erotica, thoughts and anecdotes pertaining to my kink, my friends, my relationships and desires and my attraction to bois.  Take it or leave it, it’s for myself, and those that may benefit or enjoy.  As a warning, these posts will most likely contain adult content, mentions, both generic and specific of kinky and/or BDSM acts, Daddy/babygirl play, homosexuality, gender bending, and alternative lifestyles in general.